Monday, July 28, 2014

Thanks for the Spam Stephen!

Dear Stephen:

Just a brief note,

Thanks for your ham handed poorly planned elimination of spam on my computer. 

Prior to your plan to rescue me from spam, I was getting a few of these special emails a week.  You told these people that they had to get my permission before a certain date to send me emails.

Well guess what.  My spam consumption has gone up to a remarkable level.  I wonder how many other people are getting more spam than they were a few weeks ago?

I was conscientious, I tried to check every one of those permission emails before I clicked ok, I thought I recognized every one of them as a company that I wanted to hear from… but it looks like I may have goofed.

It now seems that every Tom, Dick, and Harry who has something to flog now has my email and is sharing their business phones, security systems, holistic remedies, and just about anything you can think of with me.

Somebody sold my email and I’ll wager they’re selling it again and again.

Now that we have this wonderful law, what am I to do with all this newfound spam?  Can I forward it to you?  Is there a clearing agency that will contact these people and make them stop or face fines?

I seriously doubt that any of these wonderful offers are coming from Canadian sources. 

Maybe they come from the same office where my friend David works.  You know him, he’s the guy that calls from Microsoft’s virus alert team to let me know that my computer is spreading viruses all over the internet and he’ll fix if for me if I’ll just do a few simple commands on my computer.

Did you know that they have a 1-800 number in case the person who takes care of the computer isn’t at home?  Seriously, my wife told him that she couldn’t do it, but I could and he gave her a contact number.

I contacted the police about this, they said it wasn’t their jurisdiction, but they were good enough to give me the government site where I could lodge a complaint.

I never heard back from them, I thought I gave them permission to email me.

Anyhow, I’ll just go back to my old method of dealing with spam… Delete, delete, delete, until they get the message that this is pretty much a dead zone for their wares. 

It worked last time.

Thanks again! Banana-head.

Yours in annoyance,


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